Episode 13: I’ve given myself permission to eat, am overeating, now how do I learn to be intuitive with eating?

In this week’s episode, Jessica is discussing the question: “I’ve given myself permission to eat, am overeating, now how do I learn to be intuitive with eating?” There are so many messages and fears around this topic, but there is nothing more freeing than fully understanding how to listen to your body so that you don’t have to feel trapped. If you get hungry, you can always give yourself permission to eat!

Want to break the emotional eating cycle yourself?  Join Jessica in the Connected Eating Program.

Connect with Jessica on Instagram: @shiftnutritioncounselling

If you want to hear more “The Art & Science of Eating”, be sure to subscribe and tune in for new episodes!

Teaser

I am finding myself, like overeating and I know that I’m overeating and I want to get to a place  where I am eating intuitively and I’m not really sure what that means.

Intro

Welcome to the art and science of eating. I’m Jessica Begg, registered dietician and clinical counsellor. I worked for fifteen years in programs for treating eating disorders. I now help those that struggle with emotional eating and their relationship with their body. This podcast is where I answer questions to help people along with creating peace with both food and their body.

Connected Eating AD

This episode is brought to you by my new online group program, Connected Eating, where I help people who struggle with emotional eating from feeling out of control with food, feeling not alignment with how they want to care for their body, and spending all of their time worrying about it. That they’ve tried every diet and finally know that diets have claimed too much of their time but don’t know where to go next. This online group program has been built from my many years of helping people who have struggled with food, but now it’s not just me to help through this process but also with the support of all sorts of other people who are working towards the same goals. I have heard too many times that people think that they’re the only ones that feel this way. That they haven’t spoken with anyone with the way that they eat or the way that they feel with their body. So, I’m on a mission to create a community. You no longer need to feel alone, no longer feel ashamed thinking you’re the only one or that it’s just you. It’s not you. It’s how diet culture has impacted us all so similarly. So come and join us. Come and learn from both me and other people moving towards happy eating and being comfortable in their body. Follow the link in the show notes and I’ll see ya in there.

Podcast

How are you? It’s been a long time. I know I haven’t talked to you since last summer I think which is surprising! Cause it doesn’t feel that long ago. It’s like there’s this time in space happening. Hey do you find that? Like, time isn’t quite right, right now. Oh yeah, it’s fast and slow; nothing is happening and everything is happening. Oh gosh, so thank you for coming on to do this podcast thing. Sure! I love podcasts. Sorry I got your email and just got out of bed and I look terrible but …  Oh no that’s okay. Podcast is audio only. Umm, I was excited to hear you’re doing a podcast because I love podcasts. Oh, you do. So yeah tell me what is your question? Ok yeah so umm, the last time we spoke over a year ago or maybe just under a year ago … umm, you said something that was really groundbreaking even though it was so bold. Like you have unconditional permission to eat and it’s crazy cause it really did blow my mind and it took me a long time to wrap my head around it so over this past year I’ve just been thinking about that and just letting it sink in. Umm, it took a long time to like believe it cause I’ll start layering it over like sub thoughts, of like maybe I shouldn’t have that or maybe I should like stop that eating now so I can eat later, whatever it is. Just layering over, you have unconditional permission to eat so I’ve started kind of weaving that into the automatic thoughts that I get from my diet brain I guess. Yeah so you’re using that as the counter balance to what you hear cause there’s so much around fear around being hungry. There’s so many messages of try to fill up so you can push it off or drink water do all these things to distract yourself from being hungry so yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So my question really is, now that I’m really believing that, I’m knowing it to be true that I have permission to eat, I am finding myself overeating and I know that I’m overeating and I want to get to a place where I’m eating intuitively and I’m not really sure what that means. I don’t know how to move to that step. Hmm, yeah. So that’s you’re question. That’s my question. That is such a good one because that path that you’ve come is the path. Is that you have to give yourself permission to eat and then it’s almost like you’re brain is like oh gosh I need to gather it all. It’s just like when we’re living in any kind of scarcity and we’ve been given all of it then you take all of it cause you’re like preparing for the next famine basically and your brain and body is still not necessary hundred percent confident you might fly back into the whole diet thing which again is another common path to do that. To kind of ebb and flow so it makes sense that your body is not quite sure you’re hundred percent here yet. So there’s this period of time where people give themselves permission to eat will overeat for periods for time. To me what that means is that your body is trying to overcome the trauma of dieting. Is that, come from the scarcity, how do I feel safe? So if you’re reinforcing that, no only are you going to be able to eat whenever you like unconditional permission eat but also unconditional permission when you get unexpectedly hungry, very quickly. So you could play around with hunger or play around with fullness. Is to figure out, knowing that there is the catch the net to catch you if you get unexpectedly hungry at any time you can always eat, so then it allows you the freedom to play around with fullness. So fullness you can kind of expand over a couple of points. Let’s say you use maybe a 4 point, 5 point system on what is fullness, it would be interesting for you to allow yourself the experimental period of time to play around and track what is your level of fullness. And so, even as I say this, you have to remember it’s not a tool to restrict, understanding fullness because sometimes people fear if I have any inkling of fullness I need to shut everything down I’m not allowed to eat. That’s not the case. There should be a level of satisfaction when we finish eating and that satisfaction will change from meal to meal or from time to time. So allowing yourself this little experiment will be to allow yourself to put pins on where am I in terms of fullness so it could be first: to just track it to eat as per what you’ve been doing and put a point --- Am I overfull? What does overfull feel like and then trace that in your body. Give it some numbers. Give it some body sensations, and then just see if that’s not working for you because that’s what you’re, you’re coming with me now like ok this isn’t really working for me anymore and seeing if ok what if I try somewhere else on the point, on the scale of fullness. Putting a point there and say okay I’m going to finish here because I feel somewhat satisfied. What is the feelings that I feel in my body that’s giving me the sense that I could be satisfied. You’re not going to trust this yet so that’s the thing that’s what I’m saying we need the catch net is to just play around with it and say okay I’m going to finish here. This could be some point on my range of fullness, like give myself the permission to eat if I get hungry if I expect it or earlier or I’m hungrier at my next meal. All these things are okay but let’s just play around with it. Let’s see, If I finish here and these are the sensations I feel, how does that feel? Is there a number? Is there a body sensation? And see how that goes for the rest of the day, cause if you go too far on the low end you might find oh y’know I was hungry ten minutes later I was hungry, or half an hour later I was too intensely hungry, or an hour later it’s like … It could’ve be snack time would’ve been a normal time, but I was too hungry at that time so okay I undershot it but that’s okay I can make up for it. I have a larger stack and you move on and If you can kinda just with that expansion of points then we can understand I can feel myself differently at different times because at the moment what you’re saying is I have to fill up to the maximal amount because I don’t really trust that I’m going to give myself food if I’m hungry again. It’s basically what you’re doing is putting your toe out and okay is the ground safe here, or here? What if I put myself in this situation is the ground safe here? Yeah. Yeah go on. You mention like the different body sensations at the different levels of fullness. I’m not sure that I know what they are beyond the one I feel sick because I’m eating too much. A lot of the sensations are like maybe more mental maybe they’re mixed? It should be, you should stop eating now cause this seems like a normal sized meal so this should be when you’re full. So maybe this is with you, we’ve talked about the ten point scale before so maybe this is a six? I don’t really know how to take those mental parts which im positive are my diet frame talking to me versus like what’s a real body sensation. Yeah that’s such a good point y’know theres so much written with people that struggled with foods in terms of the trauma effect of being able to even sense things in your body. There could be that it’s going to be more difficult anyways since you say you don’t feel it but it could be your history or it could a general trauma history that will make it very difficult for you and other people to sense in their body their fullness. I think the hope in what you’re telling me is that you’re getting some senses but there’s this overriding diet culture type thinking that’s making you question it. I think it could be there but it is … we always use a little of our brain of what is enough to understand generally speaking. This is a volume of food that I generally feel good at, you’re usually going to eyeball that but I think as you play around that give yourself permission to eat as much or as little. That one is a really hard is that how to clear the air so that I can hear my volume. It seems to be like a … my logical brain I’ve really absorbed a lot of this stuff like the permission to eat, like that there’s no bad food. All of that I understand logically but I’m still having a really hard time truly believing … I don’t know … that I am just the weight that I am and that’s the weight I should be. That I shouldn’t green smoothies and kale salads. So do you think that’s kind of the driver? There’s this should that is coming into your thought process that you feel like you shouldn’t be at this weight and I should be eating these things. Is that interfering? Yeah I think so. I think so. It’s a hard one to give up because it’s all around us. You’re getting constant messages -- I’m certain. Definitely. Even with my close friend group, It’s a big topic of conversation and what people are eating and what they gained or lost during quarantine and what they’re doing about it. It’s just a big topic of conversation. Have you considered talking to them about it and how it’s not helpful for you or them? Sometimes a conversation a sense of relief for everybody. Yeah, I’ve tried to like gently mention it especially the friends, family members that would be like open to receiving the feedback. I know there is some people that are like I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just being healthy over here, why are you telling me to eat? I don’t know. Whatever it is. And I was definitely at that point a few years ago where someone was like trying to introduce me and I was not ready to hear it and I did not want to hear it because I wanted to be thin. Mhm, yeah. So you kind of had to put them into two categories; people who are not receptive and people who are on the fence. Yeah. So part of you is still on the fence too? Well definitely. If family members or friends are like still putting a lot of emphasis on their own bodies and like having conversations with me where they’re judging other people’s bodies. How do I not put myself into that situation where I assume that they’re making the same judgements about me and how do I just be okay with that? Because it’s none of my business. Yeah, yeah. It’s none of your business what their opinions are you mean? Yeah, yeah. No it’s hard because it’s really hurtful. Often they’re really mean-spirited things people are saying. This is the barrier that you brought up against: how do we create safety in this really unsafe world? And I think what you’re asking for makes sense with that respect to trying to build confidence that you know what you’re doing because the more that we can stand strong and I know I’m doing a good job. All of the stuff that we hear goes to the weight side, just like other things that you’ve probably done where you’ve gained a lot of confidence like no I know this is the right way. Y’know even talking about food, people will tell me about stuff that they’ve heard and that they’re trying to convince me otherwise and I can say no like that doesn’t fit. And so, we need to cultivate that in you to of where you’re not as permeable to it when you’re confident so we need to build the confidence that your body knows what it needs to do. Right, I guess I definitely don’t have that and that’s where I’m still questioning what I’m needing or it is what I’m doing in intuitive eating or does that even matter. I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t have any confidence about that. Well, you could slow it right down, meal to meal, and you could maybe even pick a meal in a day where it’s more quiet and see and play around with it. I even get people to check in mid-meal like how are you feeling? What are the changing sensations? Cause that’s just where we start cultivating you checking in with your brain cause it’s not like you need to know exactly, as soon as I’m full this is what I feel like, but if we could cultivate sensations in your body mid-meal, it starts getting your brain thinking about what is fullness in general too if we could get a bunch of different phases of eating. So you could try that, pausing mid-meal and do a little body check to see what it feels like. Only to gather information really, not to assert some sort of power or control again. That would be the thing, so we’re not using the information as a threat, just gathering the information what does it feel like to cultivate that. Cause at the moment, you’re doing fine. You’re doing fine. You’re here, you’re alive, you’re healthy, you’re talking to me. Your body is giving … is stopping at some people. It’s giving you signals like hey it’s enough so we need to trust that. You’re not sitting here eating with me right? Or you can’t shut it off. You shut off cause something has told you to stop. So we just need to understand I think the breathes where I think you could stop. Okay, yeah. I’m just wondering if the things that are telling me to stop are like the right things or I’m still letting that phobia and stuff seep in. Yeah, and I think that’s where we need to start putting buckets this isn’t a thought that’s mine put into that bucket. And really focus on the body sensations cause like I said you can play around with it. You’re finished eating at some point so just play around with it and I think at this moment it’s building your body sensations because you have a lot of cognitive thought about it already. We’ve established that. Just the fact that you can differentiate between the two like I’m not too sure. To me, that’s even hopeful. I’m not too sure where this message is coming. You’re examining it with new eyes versus just these are my thoughts and they’re just overwhelming me. You’re able to say I’m not quite sure this is mine or somebody else’s. So that’s a positive sign. Yeah. Yeah maybe that’s true. If I can say I know some of it is the fat phobia seeping in I can try to push that aside when I’m eating. Totally. Just put a proper labeling. And what would I label that? Well sometimes, they know where that came from like there’s somebody in their life that said that to them so you could actually literally put oh that’s so-and-so’s thoughts and that could be okay this could just be generally diet culture thoughts. These are things that I thought we’re good and helpful and they’re not good and helpful anymore. Just put that label on it. Sometimes people even put colours. This is a green thought; this is a red thought. Okay, cool, I’ll try that, I will. Yeah, be gentle with yourself because it’s really subtle. Fullness cues as are … I find hunger cues actually more subtle than fullness cues. Fullness I think is a skill to learn, to trust your body cause you don’t trust it yet. Right. And that’s okay, you’re just trying to build trust. Okay, cool. Yeah great question Sarah. Thank you, it’s so nice to talk to you. I always get good insight everytime we talk. Aww, thanks Sarah. Thanks for showing up to you to and thanks for showing up. You’re doing wonderful stuff and you’ve always have worked very hard and I’m happy to hear you’re doing really well. It’s important to me and I think that the COVID pandemic has actually given me the space to think about it a little bit more and yeah take some action rather than just running on the wheel. Yeah, that’s a good point hey. There has been some silver lining. It has been really hard but there’s been some little spaces for people to be able to contemplate. Definitely. Hopefully we’re out of this soon. I hope so. I just booked vaccine appointment this morning so I’m really excited. Oh good, Hurrah! Well, thanks so much Sarah. Are you in my little Facebook group? I am. You are? Okay, good, well I’ll see you in there too! Thanks, have a good day. Thank you, you too! Okay, bye.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for education and information purposes only. Please consult your own healthcare team for what is right for you and your care.